3/23/10 3/23/10

Is Your Facebook Page Going to Be Used Against You in Your Divorce?

A few weeks ago I attended a continuing legal education seminar and one of the topics of discussion was finding information about a party using the internet. Now this isn't any deep private investigator stuff this is using public information like someone's public Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn and Twitter profiles to learn about a person. The speaker was really more experienced in using these sites to gain information about parties to injury cases, but I have seen it used in divorce and child custody matters as well.There are tons of stories out there of old high-school sweethearts rekindling their relationships on Facebook with current marriages left in the dust. But, how can Facebook or Twitter be used against you in a divorce or child custody case? I've even seen a newspaper article from the UK where a wife found out that her husband was divorcing her because he changed his marital status on Facebook.If your spouse suspects that you are cheating on him/her they could go to your social media accounts and print out the conversations and photographs you have put up there for the world to see. Those conversations can be pretty damning - especially if they are pulled out of context. The photographs can also be pretty harmful. Last year, I worked on a child custody case and represented the father. The mother tried to use photos and comments on his Facebook and MySpace accounts showing him partying and drinking to prove that he was a bad father. I have used Facebook conversations and photos to help prove adultery in divorce cases.One way to find information about your spouse is to use an online tool called Flowtown. Flowtown lets you enter an e-mail address and it shows you where that person is interacting with social media online.Is there evidence that can be used against you on your Facebook page?If you use Facebook or other social media sites and you are facing divorce, a child custody suit or other legal matter, here are some resources for you to check out form other legal blogs:

Facebook No-No's for Divorcing Couples by Ben Stevens at www.SCfamilylaw.com
How to Find the Opposing Party on Facebook by Lee Rosen at Divorce Discourse
Using Social Networks to Gather Evidence by the Trial Technologist's View
Social Networking Sites can Provide Key Evidence by Dan Berexa at Dan Berexa's Tennessee Law Blog
Florida Couples try to Sway Divorce Proceedings with Evidence from Facebook by Keith Maynard at the Jacksonville Divorce Lawyer Blog.
Here's a great video by Lee Rosen about this topic as well:

3/8/10 3/8/10

Backing up Financial Information Before You Go

If you are contemplating leaving your marriage you may consider taking a few steps before breaking the news to your spouse or leaving the house to make sure you protect yourself and your financial interests. South Carolina family courts are courts of equity when it comes to dividing up marital assets. But before you can divide up assets and debts you must be able to identify all of those assets debts and determine which portion of them are marital and non-marital. You may find that once you break the news to your spouse about the impending divorce communication may break down and walls of protection may go up around both of you. Before that happens you should attempt to gather as much information about your family finances as possible. Here are some tips:

Gather copies of tax returns;
Gather copies of financial statements;
Gather copies of insurance policies (whether they are term or whole life policies with a cash value and if they have a cash value, what it currently is).
Inventories of property in the house - using a video camera to record a walk-through of the house is a great way to do this to make sure you don't forget anything.
Inventories of property in safe-deposit boxes (though you should take a witness with you to (1) verify what is in there when you went and (2) verify that you did not remove anything from the box)
Retirement account statements.
Appraisals of real estate and personal property like jewelry, art, etc.
Copies of paystubs for you and your spouse for the year-to-date

Of course all of this information can theoretically be gathered in the discovery phase of your divorce litigation you can save a lot of time and a lot of money (on attorney fees) by having all of this information pulled together from the beginning. Not only will you save yourself money on attorney fees, but you put yourself and your attorney in a better position when it comes to negotiating prior to and arguing at a temporary hearing.Another thing that will come of this information is that the more your specific knowledge your attorney has about your case the better he/she will be able to advise you about the likely outcomes or the best courses of action for you with less assumption.Hat tip to the Ohio Family Law Blog for the tips in this post from their post 12 Proactive Steps to Take If You are Contemplating Divorce.

3/3/10 3/3/10

Filing Bankruptcy Can Improve Your Family Life

Parenting and stress go hand-in-hand. Mix in being buried in debt, and the financial pressures can begin taking a toll on your family, your health, and your emotional well-being.Going through tough financial times increases tension within the family and interferes with your relationship with your children and your spouse. Don’t let the situation make you feel cut off from your family.Parenting is all about teaching your children. Share financial issues with your children much as you can, depending on their age. Opening up the lines of communication will not only keep you connected to them, but may also provide an opportunity to teach them about finances.When you first realize you are in over your head and can’t make your payments, contact your creditors and try to negotiate repayment plans with you. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done.If you can’t restructure your debts, you should explore bankruptcy to relieve your financial stress. Bankruptcy was designed to help individuals stabilize their finances and get out from under their financial burden by protecting their property, lowering their stress levels, and allowing them to sleep at night.Keep in mind that filing bankruptcy is not the problem. The problem is not being able to pay your bills and not being able to provide for your family. This financial pressure causes the stress and anxiety to build. All this spills over into your family relationships.To decide whether bankruptcy is right for you, contact an experienced bankruptcy lawyer who can help you navigate the complicated bankruptcy process and advise you about whether Chapter 7 (“straight bankruptcy”) or Chapter 13 (“reorganization bankruptcy”) is best for you.Once you have gone through the bankruptcy process, rejoice in new beginnings. You went through bankruptcy to get to a fresh start. Now, begin by developing a sound financial plan that will protect your finances and your sanity. Establish a savings plan that will allow you to better absorb financial strain and plan for your family’s future. Once your present situation is under control, you can begin to look to the future and set aside money for your financial goals.But What If I’m Getting a Divorce? Sometimes divorce is inevitable. I practiced family law for ten years, so I know that debt not only can cause divorce but can also cause divorce proceedings to be more difficult than they would otherwise be.She says he spent too much. He says she spent too much. And neither can afford the credit card payments. The divorce case can come to standstill over debt.If that’s the case, both spouses should consider bankruptcy. Getting rid of debt means one less thing to fight over, and that’s a good thing for your divorce case.If you are married, you can file a joint bankruptcy case with your spouse. Depending on your situation, you may even be able to use the same bankruptcy lawyer to do this. Much hinges on whether there is any conflict of interest in having the same attorney represent you in your bankruptcy case—and that depends on the facts of your case.By using bankruptcy to get your financial house in order, you can reduce your stress, enjoy time with your family, and free up your mind to start planning for your future.Russell A. DeMott is a Charleston, South Carolina bankruptcy lawyer.

3/1/10 3/1/10

Most Popular Posts of February 2010

In case you missed them, here were the most popular South Carolina divorce and family law blog posts of February 2010:

2/11/10 2/11/10

Divorce for No Sex in Over 1 Year

When things get sour in a marriage one of the first things usually to go is sex and usually one of the parties (not always the guy!) takes it personally and gets pretty upset about it. I have heard it termed that the withholding party was not living up to their "Marriage Contract". But can you get a divorce on that ground? A lot of times, people begin to think that is a really good reason for a divorce and an even better reason for their spouse to get nothing (property division and alimony) in the divorce.In Maryland, two legislators have filed a bill that, if passed, would allow a divorce on the grounds of no sex for a year. Alleging that it would ease the financial burdens on families who want a divorce but can't afford to support two households. (The finanical dilemma of supporting two households after a separation is a huge problem in almost any divorce).But, in South Carolina the no sex argument is not going to work to get you a divorce. Basically, you are still stuck with the same five options for divorce grounds: physical cruelty, habitual drunkenness, abandonment, adultery and the no fault ground of living in separate residences for more than one year (which by default also means no sex for more than one year).

2/9/10 2/9/10

Most Popular Posts of January 2010

In case you missed them, here are the most popular posts (in terms of how much traffic they garnered) last month. Enjoy:

2/10/10 2/10/10

The Lawyer's 2 Hats: Advocate and Counselor

I guess I've always known it. Though, they don't really teach it in law school. When you think of a lawyer, you think of the person who is going to stand beside you in the courtroom and zealously represent you. You think of the bulldog. The person who has only your interest in mind. That's the advocate. That is just one part of your attorney.The other hat your attorney wears is that of counselor. This is the hard part for lawyers. You have to be able to deliver bad news to your client. You have to help clients when the judge does not order something in their favor. Clients don't like the counselor. This part is hard. But it is also extremely important. A lawyer needs to be able to discuss your case openly with you. It is important that they discuss the pros and cons of your case. In family law, as with almost any other area of the law, things are gray. There is not one "right" answer but many workable answers. So many factors play into a court decision and what could happen in the case. A client should know where their case is strong and where it is weak or there is no way they can effectively resolve their case.So, as a client, don't get mad when your lawyer discusses the weak parts of your case with you. He isn't on your spouse's side when he does this, he is just making sure you know the good and bad of your case and how the law applies to it. Of course, when it comes time to put on the suit and head to the courthouse, your lawyer is going to do all he can to be your advocate and highlight the "highlights" of your case.

2/8/10 2/8/10

The Ostrich Defense Doesn't Work in Family Court

ostrich So what is the Ostrich Defense? Well, apparently it is a myth, but it is thought that in times of danger, an ostrich would stick his head in the sand. Sort of a "hear no evil, see no evil" approach. My young son does this sometimes. If I am coming to tickle him, he will bury his head in a pillow and hope that since he can't see me that I can't see him. But I always find him.So how does this relate to divorce? I know divorce is difficult. No matter what the marriage is like, no one ever got married with the divorce in mind. Depending on your religious background, divorce may be totally against the rules. Whatever the reason, I meet with people that simply do not want to participate in the divorce case. They believe that if they just keep their head down, the divorce will just blow over and nothing will happen - no divorce; no rights adjusted; things back to normal.Unfortunately, that is not how things work out. If your spouse has decided to move forth with a divorce - regardless of your desires or beliefes, you should make sure that you protect yourself because for many issues, you must seek those rights immediately or they will be given up forever. So, if your spouse who has always financially support you and your family moves out and seeks a divorce and you do not seek alimony or division of assets (such as his retirement account) you will not be able to go back to court again in the future to get that alimony.Many people think that if you are served with divorce papers and you simply do nothing, your spouse will not be able to move forward with the divorce. But that is wrong. When you are served you have 30 days to respond. If you do nothing or respond late you will be in "default" which means that some of your rights and potential arguments are already terminated.So, even if you do not agree with the divorce, I would encourage you to at least look out for yourself and participate in the action. That is the only way you can ensure that justice is done and you receive what you are entitled to without involuntarily giving up some rights and privileges that you are entitled to.Photo Credit: Gravitywave