Is Your Facebook Page Going to Be Used Against You in Your Divorce?
A few weeks ago I attended a continuing legal education seminar and one of the topics of discussion was finding information about a party using the internet. Now this isn't any deep private investigator stuff this is using public information like someone's public Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn and Twitter profiles to learn about a person. The speaker was really more experienced in using these sites to gain information about parties to injury cases, but I have seen it used in divorce and child custody matters as well.There are tons of stories out there of old high-school sweethearts rekindling their relationships on Facebook with current marriages left in the dust. But, how can Facebook or Twitter be used against you in a divorce or child custody case? I've even seen a newspaper article from the UK where a wife found out that her husband was divorcing her because he changed his marital status on Facebook.If your spouse suspects that you are cheating on him/her they could go to your social media accounts and print out the conversations and photographs you have put up there for the world to see. Those conversations can be pretty damning - especially if they are pulled out of context. The photographs can also be pretty harmful. Last year, I worked on a child custody case and represented the father. The mother tried to use photos and comments on his Facebook and MySpace accounts showing him partying and drinking to prove that he was a bad father. I have used Facebook conversations and photos to help prove adultery in divorce cases.One way to find information about your spouse is to use an online tool called Flowtown. Flowtown lets you enter an e-mail address and it shows you where that person is interacting with social media online.Is there evidence that can be used against you on your Facebook page?If you use Facebook or other social media sites and you are facing divorce, a child custody suit or other legal matter, here are some resources for you to check out form other legal blogs:
- Facebook No-No's for Divorcing Couples by Ben Stevens at www.SCfamilylaw.com
- How to Find the Opposing Party on Facebook by Lee Rosen at Divorce Discourse
- Using Social Networks to Gather Evidence by the Trial Technologist's View
- Social Networking Sites can Provide Key Evidence by Dan Berexa at Dan Berexa's Tennessee Law Blog
- Florida Couples try to Sway Divorce Proceedings with Evidence from Facebook by Keith Maynard at the Jacksonville Divorce Lawyer Blog.
- Here's a great video by Lee Rosen about this topic as well:
Can I Modify My Child Custody Order?
Most court orders are permanent. If you were to be sued for some harm you caused to another person or their property or if you are involved in some property division in your divorce case, your court order would be permanent. That means, no matter what happens down the road, no matter what change of circumstances the order will not be changed.Family court orders dealing with children are different. The aspects of a family court order in South Carolina that deal with children such as custody, child support and visitation can be altered and modified after the order has been entered. In order to modify your child custody, visitation or support order you must file a new action and request that the previous order be modified due to a substantial change in circumstances. So, if the circumstances surround custody, visitation or support have not changed since your decree was entered, then you cannot seek to have the order modified.
Working Parent's Work Used Against them in Custody Trial
Can your work be used against you in a custody case? I read an article at WorkingMom.com entitled Custody Lost where a working mother was in a deep custody battle with her husband who had been unemployed for several years. I have seen this from both sides: a dad tries to take custody away from the mother because of her job; and, I've also seen it the other way where moms try to use a dad's job to say that he is withdrawn from the children's life and should not be granted custody of them.So does your work play in to the custody determination? Unfortunately, yes, it does. Your work is a part of who you are. You spend a considerable amount of time there each week and it removes some of your flexibility in life. A family court judge trying to determine a custody case in South Carolina must decide what is in the child's best interest. That is really the overarching concern in the case. Your job is not going to be the be-all, end-all, but it is a factor that will be considered. In my experience, most judges are not going to be swayed in one direction just due to a job because a judge is going to expect the parents to work to be able to provide for their family. Where the rubber meets the road is whether the job materially impairs your parenting. Are you constantly late getting your children to school or picking them up from day care, are your children doing poorly in school because you are working so much that you do not have time to assist them with their studies, are they acting out because they are spending more time with a baby sitter than with you because you work until after they have gone to bed for the night? Keep these in mind if you are facing a custody battle and your spouse is going to try to use your work against you. While it sucks, you should definitely be realistic about the demands of your job and how you prioritize things.
Child Custody: Mom Automatically Wins, Right?
It is a common misconception that the mother is automatically entitled to receive custody of the minor children, especially when the children are very young. The "tender years presumption" is an old factor that used to automatically grant the mother custody of young children because it was assumed that she was the best person to be the primary caretaker of the children.This presumption is no longer valid. In fact, South Carolina law has abolished the tender years presumption (S. C. Code §63-15-10). Now, in order to determine who gets custody of the minor children in a custody battle in South Carolina a judge will consider what is in the "best interest of the children" along with several other factors.The factors considered in custody cases are:
- Resources of the parents
- Who has been the primary caretaker
- Immoral conduct of the parents
- Child's reasonable preference
- Domestic Violence
- Relgious faith
- A Guardian ad Litem's report
While there is no tender years presumption any more, that does not mean that the mother will not win custody. It just means that it is not an automatic decision. Mothers are winning custody of their children every day in South Carolina. Basically, in overruling this presumption, the courts are saying that this is not the best resolution in every case so all of the evidence should be considered and what is in the best interest of the children will prevail.There are a couple of other factors that will not be considered:
- No gender bias: that means that a daughter will not automatically be placed with their mother and a son will not automatically be placed with their father.
- Race is not a factor in determining who the custodial parent shall be.
Changing Child Custody in South Carolina
When you separate from your spouse or when you get a divorce there are lots of different reasons why couples agree to certain custody arrangements for their minor children. If you did not pursue custody in your divorce or you believe it is time for a change of custody of your minor children here are some things that you will need to be able to prove according to South Carolina child custody law.In order to change or modify a child custody order in South Carolina you must show that the circumstances surrounding the original child custody order have substantially changed after the original child custody order and that those changes substantially affect the welfare and interests of the children in question (Moss v. Moss, 274 S.C. 120 (1980)).Of course, in any case where there is a question regarding the children, the absolute most important consideration the court must make is determining what is in the "best interest of the children."Generally, there is no black or white answer when it comes to child custody and changes of child custody in South Carolina. The court will most likely look at the entire set of circumstances surrounding your children to determine what they feel is in the best interest of the children. Also, it is usually based on many factors, not just one - but that isn't to say that the court could not use just one factor to make the decision to modify a previous child custody order.
Helping Children Cope with Divorce Seminar
Compass of Carolina will be presenting a seminar on the topic of helping Children cope with divorce. The seminar is scheduled for October 10, 2009 and is a four hour program designed for parents who are going through or have completed their divorce and forcueses on helping parents develop a cooperative co-parenting relationship and teaches parents the skills useful in helping their children adjust to the divorce and the life changes that accompany divorce. The program begins at 9 am and concludes at 1 pm.For more information, visit the Compass of Carolina website.There is a cost to attend an they require you tor register in advance. The link above has all of the information about cost, scheduling, and registration.
When can a Child Determine Which Parent He Will Live With?
Question: What age can a child determine which parent he will live with?Answer: This is a question I receive quite often from parents going through a custody fight with their spouse or former spouse. There is a misconception that the South Carolina child custody law allows children who have reached a certain age to make decisions on where they should live. This is simply not true.Children, no matter what their age, generally lack the knowledge and life experience to make a binding decision on their own. If the custody of a child is a contested matter, then the child will not get the final say on where he or she lives. This does not mean the child gets no say, but just not the final say.In a contested South Carolina child custody matter, the Family Court will determine what is in the best interest of the child. The “best interest of the child” is the overarching consideration in any issue regarding children. The child communicates to the Court through the Guardian ad Litem appointed to represent the child and provide information to the Court about the details surrounding the children. The judge will use the Guardian’s report along with the other evidence from trial to determine what is in the child’s best interest and in whose custody they should be.