Divorce Mediation: Ready to Make Some Hard Decisions

Mediation is a requirement for most South Carolinians facing divorce.  A majority of our counties now have a mandatory mediation requirement before a final divorce hearing can be scheduled.  Even though mediation is becoming mandatory in most areas, it is also a great idea to go through mediation if you cannot resolve your case on your own.  So how can you make the most of your mediation?I am a certified family court mediator and I represent a lot of people who are facing divorce.  Because of those two roles I have been involved as a mediator or as a lawyer in a lot of mediations.  One of the frustrating things about mediation is when lawyers and clients fail to come prepared to the mediation to make a decision.  This can happen for a number of reasons.  Perhaps the lawyer just did not have an adequate opportunity to prepare.  There may have been some difficulty obtaining discovery responses from the opposing party.  It may just be a lack of understanding of the issues involved in the case.  Sometimes clients come to mediation with an attitude that their case can never settle or they have not considered what they are willing to accept to have their case resolved.Mediation is a long process and in order to successfully resolve your divorce through mediation you must come prepared.  Here are three divorce mediation tips:1. Understand the issues involved in your case.  In order to make the best decisions possible you need to work with your lawyer to understand the issues and how the law applies to them.  This is where you engage your lawyer's duties as a counselor.  Understand where your case is strong and where it is weak.2.  Come to mediation with priorities.  Know what you are willing to let go of and what is non-negotiable.  If you wait to consider these items for the day of mediation you will quickly feel overwhelmed and not be able to make a decision.3.  Come prepared to make a decision.  Mediation is a negotiation.  You likely won't have a share a conference room with your spouse and you will have your lawyer there with you, but make no mistake, you will be asked to be an active participant in the mediation. It is very difficult to get a case resolved when clients are unable to make a decision about the issues in their case.  That paralysis and failure to make a decision is actually a decision not to make a decision.  That choice can lead to continued litigation, contested trials, increased attorney fees, and the risk of having a judge determine the outcome of your case thereby removing any control and decision-making from you.