Tips to Prepare a Useful Parenting Plan
Many times, most assume the family court will simply follow a standard visitation guideline. That is true in many circumstances and particularly if that is what the parties expect and fail to present a proposed parenting plan.
When you are involved in a child custody case, you and your lawyer should work together to prepare a thoughtful parenting plan for the judge to consider.
Judges are looking for parents to be thoughtful and reasonable when it comes to parenting plans and how they are going to raise their children post separation/divorce.
So what should you include in a parenting plan?
The first thing I would suggest is to avoid relying solely on legal terminology such as sole custody or joint custody. When you stop and think about it, does sole or joint really explain anything to you?
Instead, think through two things: (1) a parenting schedule and (2) how decisions for your children will be made.
Parenting Schedule
Planning the proposed parenting schedule should think through several things:
- The Regular Schedule: what will be the schedule for where you children are living during the school year?
- The Holiday Schedule: what holidays will you observe? The holiday visits specified will supersede the regular placement schedule.
- Summers: will you do something different during the summer than you do during the school year or will it continue the same way? Will either parent have extended time like a week or two for vacations?
Parenting Decisions
How will parenting decisions be made for your children? Will you and your spouse continue to talk to one another about all major decisions? Will one of the parents have the final say after some consultation between the parents? Will one parent be able to make all of the decisions free from input from the other parent?
"Major Decisions" are typically defined by state law, but include things like the child's health, education, extracurricular activities and religious upbringing.
Decisions outside of these categories are likely things that fall into the day-to-day decision-making of the parent who has the child during that time.
Other Considerations
Some situations require that parent conduct be restrained or restricted in some way. If one parent should have supervised contact with the children or some other restriction these should also be listed here.
Other guidelines may be things like not smoking around a child with Asthma, ensuring children watch age appropriate media, etc.
Are there family members or friends who should not have contact with the child due to criminal or child abuse/neglect backgrounds?
Are there paramours (boyfriends or girlfriends) that we need to consider when preparing a parenting plan? How will this be treated? Will it be okay for each other to have significant others in the presences of the children? Over night? Don't just think about how you feel right now. Think through how this will impact you until your children reach age 18.
Telephone and Electronic Visitation
One thing I hear a lot is that one parent wants to be able to speak to the child regularly but then doesn't want to offer the other parent open telephone or electronic time with the child. Think through how you would like to be able to contact the child while (s)he is with the other parent.
Conclusion
I hope this has given you some understanding of what makes a good parenting plan. What else can you think of that should be included? What questions do you have? Let me know in the comments.