What Should I Expect in my Divorce Mediation?

In November 2015, the South Carolina Supreme Court issued an order requiring all domestic relations actions in this state to be subject to mediation.  So, if you are a part of a divorce action in South Carolina your case is subject to be mediated unless you resolve the outstanding issues on your own.A mediator is a trained neutral who will assist the parties in attempted to negotiate a settlement.  He or she may be a lawyer, but is not required to be a lawyer.  The mediator is completely neutral.  That means, the mediator does not have an interest in the outcome of the case and has never been involved with either party such that there may be a conflict of interest.  The mediator will listen to both parties, offer suggestions, discuss the possible outcomes in trial, and so forth.  But, it is not the job of the mediator to determine the outcome of your case. In fact, that is exactly what you are trying to avoid.  If you are unsuccessful in mediation, then you will be required to bring your divorce case to the Family Court where the judge will listen to both sides of the case and review all of the evidence presented and then dictate how your children will be parented, how your belongings will be divided, and how your incomes will be shared.  You have lost control at that point. In mediation, you and your spouse remain in control of the outcome of your divorce.Mediators fees are generally divided equally between the spouses in a divorce mediation.  In South Carolina, most mediator fees range in the $150-200 per hour range and the rules allow the mediator to charge an hour in addition to the time spent mediating to prepare for the mediation and to prepare a mediation report following mediation.In many cases, divorce mediation is done with the parties in separate rooms and the mediator floats back and forth between the rooms to relay information and offers.I remind my clients that mediation is not an appointment to come to without being ready to make some decisions.  Mediation is a negotiation and requires some give and take from both spouses to result in a settled resolution.  If you are not ready to make decisions about the outcome of your divorce then this mediation will be very frustrating for both you and your spouse.  In order to be ready to make decisions you need to be prepared for mediation.  Often times, it feels like mediation is blown off as just one more step that doesn't really matter. Then, in the midst of the mediation while the parties are make some headway towards a resolution there are gaps of information missing that would be helpful in resolving an issue.  Having information about values of assets and amounts of debts, income information for both parties, living expenses for yourself, and other relevant information you will be better prepared to reach an agreement that you can live with.